How to OVERCOME Self Doubt - Science-Backed and Effective!

Never stop believing in yourself!

If you don’t feel confident in yourself, or you don’t believe that you can succeed - you have doubts about yourself, then you also the pain that comes with these self-doubts.
 
Whether that’s the pain of always feeling that you’re less than others, or the one of loosing opportunities in life, or even feeling that you’re some kind of impostor who is tricking and hustling your way through life and relationships, I want you to know that you’re not alone.
 
I have felt that pain too, and I lived with it for many years - all those self-doubts felt they were my truth that I was desperately trying to hide from everyone around me.
 
That pain is real, but it’s also true that it doesn’t just go away on its own. Rather, the longer you stay with these doubts, more they feel like an actual reality. And the longer that doubt festers within you, more it eats aways eating away at your confidence, your self worth, your trust in yourself.
 
But you don’t have to be in this pain. It doesn’t matter how long you have been doubting yourself, you can get out of this blind well of self-doubt and self-criticism, and you only need two things - to understand why you doubt yourself in the first place, and to know a simple step to break this loop of being hard on yourself - and once you understand where these self-doubts come from and how to handle them, you will never stop believing in yourself again.

You are busy doubting yourself while others are intimidated by your full potential.
Anonymous

Why you should never stop believing in yourself

Have you ever heard "that's too hard," "there's no way you will be able to do that," "or what if you fail, what will you do then"?
 
One of the biggest reasons why people stop believing in themselves is because they are surrounded by nay-sayers. People who tell you that you won't succeed without showing you the path to success, people who tell you that you don't have what it takes, without telling you how to develop the skills to succeed. These nay-sayers make you doubt your own abilities and are often waiting for the moments when you fall, not to lend you a hand to get you back up, but rather to say “I told you so,” to deepen your doubts and to fester the attitude of giving-up than the values of persistence for you.
 
Over time, these messages start to become internalized. Even if you keep fighting others and keep pushing back on these negative messages, deep down, some doubts start to take hold in your heart and plant the seeds of negativity in your mind.
 
And once that happens, then it's only a matter of time until you lose your focus and get caught in the loop of self-doubts eating away your confidence, and becoming fixated on your failures and shortcomings, which make those self-doubts even worse.
 
So what can you start doing today to get that confidence again, to start believing in yourself - maybe for the first time, or maybe something that you lost somewhere in response to what life threw at you?
 
The single most important thing you can do that will help you start believing in yourself, and help you feel more comfortable and confident in who you are, is to bring focusing on how you got where you are in life today.
 
The thing is that you weren’t dealt the same cards in life as people you keep comparing yourself to. One of the biggest reasons you stop believing in yourself is because you lose focus of how you got where you are in life today. You weren’t dealt the same cards in life as people you keep comparing yourself to.
 
Wherever you are in life, remember what all it took to be at this point - what you had to overcome and the sacrifices that you had to make. Other people might not understand them, but you have to - because that’s the story of your resilience, that’s the story of how you became the person you are today, and what’s next for you in your journey of life.
 
What often happens is that we become so fixated on the next thing we want, that we rarely stop to recognize and celebrate what we accomplish. And it leads to us being always focusing on what you haven’t accomplished, and where you want to be, but you haven’t made it yet.
 
For example - I have an advanced college degree and a stable career, yet I’m filled with self doubts and question my worth and abilities, every time I stumble on my journey towards my goals. I wonder if I even have what it takes or have I just faked my way or have just been lucky.
 
A very interesting thing happened when I was preparing this article. When I decided to make this video, I interviewed a lot of my friends to get some insights into their experiences. And it shocked me when every single one of them could recall a time in their life when they didn’t believe in yourself, and some are still in that phase.
 
As I interviewed all my friends, one thing became really clear to me, that all the people who conquered their doubts and developed a strong confidence shared one thing in common - they were able to break the loop of self criticism.
 
Now in order to explain the loop, I’ll have to quickly explain two psychological concepts - Confirmation bias and Self-fulfilling prophecy.
 
Confirmation bias refers to your brain’s ability to only look for things that are consistent with what you already believe, and automatically ignore anything that doesn’t fit with your existing thoughts and beliefs.
 
And the self-fulfilling prophecy means that when you believe something, whether that’s positive or negative, you start to think and act in a way that invites those very things, which sort of confirms your original doubts and beliefs, and thereby creating a self-fulfilling cycle where your beliefs and actions keep bringing the results that you believe - whether those beliefs are positive and self-loving, or filled with self-doubts and fear of failure.
 
When run into obstacles or things get tough, it becomes difficult to believe in yourself, but in those moments, if you start listening to nay-sayers around you, then it’s easy for you to get caught in that loop of self-doubt, where your mind looks at things through the lens of confirmation bias to remind you of your every failure you ever had, and the self-fulfilling prophecy takes you in the direction of more doubts and failures, keeping you stuck in that loop.
 
But you can break free from this loop, and you have to break free from this loop to succeed, because guess what? The path to success is rarely straight-forward.
 
In fact, it’s often filled with pit holes and speed bumps. If you’re doing something that’s worth doing, something that’s worth the effort, that will help you set apart, then it’s also guaranteed that the path will not be easy - if it were, everyone would walk it.
 
But that doesn’t mean that you give-up. Rather, it means that you need to believe in yourself even more strongly, because you are guaranteed to fall while walking on this path, and when you fall, get-up, learn from that mistake, and then keep going.
 
Persistence - that is your key to success, that the key to persistence is your self-confidence, your trust in yourself. So let’s talk about how to break that loop of self-doubt and self-criticism, so you never stop believing in yourself again.

How to believe in yourself

The very first thing you need to build your confidence - is to know your value. What do you bring to the table? Whether that’s in relationships or your career - what is that you offer to others.
 
Now the chances are that if you have been stuck in the loop of self-doubt for a while, then you might just respond with “nothing,” and if you heard that voice, then recognize it. That’s the voice of your self-doubt, and that’s the very voice that’s keeping you down and keeps you from getting back up.
 
Take a moment to reflect on people who are in your life - Why do they choose to be in your life? Recognize that people in your life have a choice - they don’t have to be with you, but they choose to be with you. And if they make that choice, there must be some value that you bring to them and their life, even if you can’t see it just yet.
 
And if you’re not sure, then ask your friends and your loved ones. It might feel weird or even scary at first, but that clarity of why people who are in your life choose to be around you will give you the confidence that you genuinely have something to offer to people that they like and want in their life. And it will help you see the things you aren’t able to see in yourself, or are too quick to dismiss.
 
Now if you have doubts in your work and career aspects, then look at where you are and what all did it take for you to get the education that you got, the jobs that you had to do to pay the bills and carve out the path to be where you are today? What all did you have to overcome to be at the person watching this video right now? Look at your CV now and then to remind yourself of your potential and the successes you had until this point, and feel motivated to conquer the next one.
 
Which brings to the second thing that can help you overcome your self-doubts and believe in yourself again.

Have your goals defined clearly.

The truth about the human nature is that we are forward-looking people.
 
There is a concept in psychology called the Zeigarnik (zee-garnik) effect, which says that you are more likely to focus on things that are unfinished than the things that you completed. You are more likely to focus on things that you didn’t do well compared to the things that you did well.
 
Which makes sense - if you have ever used a checklist, how often do you go back to look at the things you checked off, and celebrate at what you did that day. Most of us just focus on the next task on the list.
 
Having a clear goal - a single focus of where you are going - your mind starts to lose confidence because your mind needs that reinforcement that you are making progress, that you’re moving forward in life - that you’re succeeding.
 
And because of this Zeigarnik effect, without a concrete focus, you lose a sense of purpose, which gets you right back to that loop of self-doubt and self-criticism.
 
While changing the tendency to think this way can be difficult, using this natural tendency of your mind to your advantage is much easier. All you need to do is to set a short-term, achievable goal to feel productive and to fulfill your mind’s need to grow and succeed. And be sure to have measurable markers along the way - something you can track to know that you are making progress and to celebrate the small milestones along the way.
 
Conclusion
But remember that at the end of the day, your confidence begins with a simple choice that you have to make for yourself. The choice to start believing in yourself, because you can't wait for someone else to see your self-worth before you do. You can't expect someone else to come and tell you about your real potential until you see it in yourself.
 
So if you want the world to see what you're capable of, you have to first be the person to yourself, that you want others to be for you. You have to love and believe in yourself, the way you want others to believe in you. That choice is yours, but whatever you choose to do, one thing is for sure, if you want to succeed, never stop believing in yourself.

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