By sharing these memories in this letter, you allow yourself to experience them without getting stuck with them. It's sort of like having a conversation where you share your memories with the person one last time, which will hopefully provide you with some sense of closure.
Moving on to the second section of the letter, where you share all the things that you did not get to say to them. You can tell them how much you loved and admired them, how you will miss them, or even how angry you are at them for leaving you.
This is where it becomes important to remember that just because the person is gone from their physical form in this world, their relationship with you isn't over. Yet, the relationship has changed as it now lives within you.
This will help you be more authentic with the thoughts and emotions you pour into this second section. You no longer need to worry whether the things you write in the letter are positive or whether they show your pain and anger from all this grieving. Simply write down your thoughts and emotions honestly in that letter - Whatever they might be.
The third and the last section of the letter is where you talk about how their passing away has impacted your life. Share how your life is different now - from the emotional comfort you lost from their demise to the changes in your life and routine. All the things that you do differently now.
This section will help you grieve not just the person who is gone, but also the impact of their passing on your life. It will also help you feel and believe that you will continue to carry your bond with them in your heart, even as you adjust to this new phase of life.
There will eventually be times when you won't think about them as much. And then, there will be times when you think back to these memories, but with a little less pain and a little more joy for having shared such precious moments. It's just how life works.
Now, once you have written the letter, you have two options:
The first is to let go of the letter in a symbolic ceremony. Maybe tie it with a balloon and let it fly away, or maybe flow it in a river or the ocean that you used to frequent. This will help you find closure to the whole process.
But one last step you need to take before you let go of it is to take a moment to think about how the person responded to your letter. What would they have said, and how would they want you to live your life moving forward. Once you do that, then let the letter go and along with it, whatever else you've been holding on to.
The second option is to hold on to the letter. Something that you can revisit periodically to reflect on how far along you have come in your acceptance process and cherish the memories you wrote down.
Because in the end, remember that there is no real end-point to grief. Acceptance is not a one-and-done thing. So don't be hard on yourself if you get caught up in the past sometimes. But also remind yourself to not stay there either. Acceptance will not just come to you - You will have to walk up to you. You never forget the person, but you learn to cry, laugh, and live even though you miss them - and that's what acceptance looks like.
And I sincerely hope this article helped you get at least a little closer to that acceptance. If you haven't read the article on things that no one tells you about grief, then check out that article (or the video) next.