Brilliant Relationship Advice I Got From My Dog

Dog is man's best friend. A quote I heard for most of my life, but the real meaning, the true value of it is something I didn't really understand until I got my own furry companion - His name is Bu.
 
And I'm so grateful to him for teaching me some of the most important lessons in life and relationships that have changed my outlook on things, and in this video, I'm about to share them with you.

Forgiveness and Letting Go

When I first got my puppy, Bu, I had no idea what I was getting into. My only experience was with my ex-girlfriends' older, very well trained dog. So when I decided to get a puppy, I was expecting a furry companion whom I feed and walk twice a day, and other than that, we will just cuddle on the couch and watch Netflix.
 
But then, this little adorable, 7-week-old monster enters into my life. He would pee and poop all over the house, would bite everything with his puppy needle teeth including me, and was just a constant bottomless pit of attention and neediness.
 
I know, I know - I should have done my research. I even remember my boss warning me that young puppies are a lot of work, but the smug me was like, I'm a psychologist - I can train a dog, I got this!
Boy, was I wrong! Three weeks after getting Bu - I was so tired and grumpy because I was not getting much quality sleep. I was rushing home during lunch hours every single day, and had no social life because he needed me. I was just constantly tired. That's when I started learning my first life lesson that this little guy had to teach me - See through that period of adjusting and training, there were a lot of moments of frustration when he would do something wrong or wouldn't get it when I was training him. And in those moments, I felt irritated and annoyed, but despite feeling angry, I couldn't express my anger.
 
You see, because his young brain was still developing, he couldn't link me being mad to the his actions for more than 2 minute - young puppies' brains are just not capable of making that association past the two minute mark.
 
But I wasn't always ready to let go of my anger in 2 minutes. which was of course extremely uncomfortable and at times, would make me even more upset. I was still upset, but I couldn't be mad at him because he was no longer able to understood why I was feeling those emotions. That's when I learned that my only real option there was to let go of my anger - to experience my anger, regardless of what happened or how upset I was - I had that 2 minute window to express my emotions, tell him what I wanted, and what I expect in the future, and once those two minutes were up, I had no option but to let it go.
 
Because holding on to that anger, was only going to make me more miserable, and hurt my relationship with my dog. And Relationships with people are no different. How many of you can relate to feeling angry or frustrated with your partner?
 
Now reflect on how you handle that frustration, and that anger, and how to do you show your pain and communicate your needs in that moment? Can you speak to your partner like you would to your fur baby? Can you communicate your needs and your expectations in a positive manner?
 
Remember that you have two minutes for all that - once those two minutes are up, it's time to let go of your anger. Holding on to your anger and frustration for any longer will only hurt you or your relationship. Of course, it's easier said than done. You will have to consciously remind yourself of communicating your emotions effectively, and then watch your emotions flow away like water in a river.
 
That discipline - that strength - to hold your emotions, use them to improve your life and relationships, and then letting them pass without taking actions that you might regret later - that in fact is a real life superpower.
 
It can completely redefine your personality and your relationships, and all it takes is practice and keeping in mind that you have 2 minutes to feel and respond to your emotions, and then it's time to move on. And that's exactly the very first lesson that my dog taught me about relationships - to forgive and let go.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Josh Billings

Enjoying every day

The second lesson that my baby Yoda taught me can be best explained through John Grogan's quote - Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day.
 
Even though my dog just turned 3, one of the things that I often worry about is the day when I have to say goodbye to him. And every time that thought crosses my mind, it reminds me every time that he has limited time with me. It reminds me that while I have a a million things to keep me busy and distracted - I'm all that he has.
 
So when I feel tired, when I feel stressed, or too busy with work, remembering that every single day of his life counts helps me stay grounded. For me, it started off as a fear that when he is gone, I don't want to regret not making time for him - that he used to sit there waiting for me to play with him while I was too busy with all my distractions.
 
And the more I stayed with that thought, more I realized that there's yet another life lesson hidden in there - that this perspective on life and relationships is not limited to our time with our pets.
 
Tell me if you can relate to working long hours, and even at home, being so distracted with random things and drama in life, that you don't always have the time or energy to create special memories with your loved ones anymore?
 
When was the last time you surprised your partner with a date night? When was the last time you turned off the tv and put away the phones, and just talked to one another?
 
Finding this balance in life is certainly a difficult one, but thinking about it from the perspective of your dog's life makes it a little bit easier.
 
Things that you are worried about today, will you still be care about them in 10 years? All the drama that takes up the emotional space in your mind - in 10 years, will you appreciate that, or will you enjoy happy, positive memories that you could be creating today? Not only that, these loving moments and joyful experiences will also help you feel rejuvenated to feel motivated and more productive when you are actually working towards your dreams and passions.
 
This art of intentional living - Doing everything you need to do in your life, but also being intentional about your priorities and your bigger dreams in life is a skillset that will enrich your life unlike anything else.

Being intentional about relationships

Eckhart Tolle said when the dog looks at you, the dog is not thinking what kind of a person you are. The dog is not judging you.
 
And that's true for every dog and their pet parent that I know. Your dog doesn't care how you look - if you're beautiful or ugly, if you're skinny or fat, if you're rich or you're poor - all the things that we as people get lost in.
 
What a dog care about is how you bond with them - how much attention you give to them. People often talk about being the alpha with a dog, which my dog trainer friend strongly disagrees with him. According to him, it's all about your relationship with the dog - they listen to you and bond with you based on your relationship with them, not because they are afraid of you.
 
And that relationship is build based on the quality of time you spend with them. Dogs bond with whoever raises them, whoever walks them, plays with them - all things that tell them that you care about them, and make their hearts feel about spending time with you.
 
And same goes for relationships in life - people connect with you based on how you prioritize them and you invest in your relationships. Are you letting people in your lives know how much they matter to you, and how are you communicating them?
 
When you spend time together, be sure to let go of the distractions and be mindfully present in that moment - and not just for your partner's sake, but for your own as well. Your relationships are in fact what provides meaning to to your life - so be sure to appreciate the people you have in your life, and make small or big memories every single day.
 
Because when it starts to rain in life, these memories are what will give you strength and motivation, and these people are who will give you love and support until the Sun shines again.
 
So be intentional about your relationships - be thoughtful about how you are letting the people in your life know that they matter to you, and show them how much you care. And this care and expression of your affection has to be in the love language that speaks to their heart most strongly. 

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So if you haven't yet seen my video on the 5 love languages, then go watch that next to learn about the 5 love languages to learn about your and your partner's love language, and use that your advantage.

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