Why are Emotions so Exhausting (and Hard to Control)

This is a  concept of staying emotionally stable from my eBook, Mastering Your Emotions. Download Now!
Have you ever wondered why it's so difficult to manage and control your emotions?
Well, you can blame the part of your brain that's responsible for managing your emotions, called the limbic system. This part of the brain is actually the oldest and the fastest part of your brain. In comparison, the region responsible for reasoning and making wise decisions is one of the slowest parts of the brain.
Now with proper training, some people learn to lead with their thoughts first, but for most people, emotions lead their mind. When you run into unpleasant or unknown situations, and your feelings are leading your mind, you naturally start to worry about it. And once you start worrying about it and thinking about it negatively, your thoughts follow your emotions. Unknowingly, you start moving in that direction and becoming entangled with the very situation you don't want to be in.

Fear Mind

I talked about the concept of "Fear mind" in one of my previous videos. This fear mind triggers a stress response, which alerts you to move away from situations that are not good for you. It is this part of your brain that makes you quickly remove your hand when you touch a hot pan.
But when you let your emotions lead your mind, your thoughts can't listen to your fear mind. Your decisions are more heavily influenced by your feelings than your rational mind.
And you can train your mind to do this - you can teach your mind to be emotionally strong and find the balance of thoughts and emotions at that moment.

Don't be a slave to your emotions. Control them.

So what does it mean to be emotionally stronger mean?

Being emotionally stronger means being able to manage your emotions in any situation. It doesn't mean that you won't feel emotions - positive or negative - the whole spectrum of emotions is a part of life, even the ones you don't like.
And being emotionally stable and being able to manage your emotions comes down to 4 things:
  1. The ability to live and enjoy your emotions in the moment.
  2. To experience the positive and negative feelings as they come, attending to your needs in those moments, and then allowing yourself to move on to the next emotion.
  3. Your ability to empathize with others when your friends are hurting, without feeling overwhelmed or burdened yourself. You would know this if you are the person that others come to for guidance or emotional support. But being emotionally strong also means respecting others' boundaries, such as understanding whether the person is open to your advice or not. 
  4. This brings us to the fourth sign of being emotionally stable, establishing your boundaries in a warm and caring yet firm manner.

One thing to get you started...

So let's talk about the one thing that you can start doing today - to start your journey of mastering your emotions. And that is to identify your triggers for negative emotions. Start recognizing the things that cause you to lose your composure - what things upset your emotions and your peace, and start writing them down.
Give them a name, which will help you externalize them. This will help you see them as something you have to deal with, something you have to fight off, rather than something that's a part of you.
These negative emotions and these slip-ups don't define you. They don't make you who you are - instead, they hold you back from really shining in your life and showing the people you love how much you care about them. They are like parasites that flood you with so many negative emotions all of a sudden that your real warm and positive emotions get buried under them.
So it's time for you to start fighting these parasites and fight them proactively. By identifying what keeps you from being emotionally grounded and engaging in the four signs I mentioned earlier, you take your first step towards mastering your emotions.

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